The 2011 mini-series "Neverland" directed by Nick Willing is probably the worst piece of cr*p ever made about Peter Pan. It is so awful that I hardly know where to begin.

 The mini-series sounded so promising with Rhys Ifans as Hook, Keira Knightley as Tinker Bell and Bob Hoskins repeating his role as Smee from Spielberg's 1991 film "Hook", but boy was I in for a disappointment! I bought the series on DVD and as the subtitle on the cover was "The Legend of Peter Pan Begins", I expected to see something about Peter's early years in Kensington Gardens. But no…instead I was presented with a story about an orphan pickpocket Peter and his mentor Jimmy Hook who steal a crystal ball and end up in a jungle with a power-mad female pirate Elizabeth Bonny (Anna Friel) and a Native American tribe that protects tree spirits. You see, fairies are no longer fairies, but tree spirits. And fairy dust is no longer fairy dust, but mineral dust and Peter is no longer an ambivalent child of death, but an innocent hero. In fact, there is nothing of the special Peter Pan magic left in this story as it has been replaced with mainstream adventure brutality aimed at a male audience.

 Far the worst, though, is the relationship between Hook and Peter (Charlie Rowe). It reminded me so much of Fagin and The Artful Dodger that at times I actually thought I was watching a remake of "Oliver Twist"! Not only is the father/son relationship between the two characters SO wrong, but it also gets a little weird when it starts having romantic overtones as Peter isn't quite happy when Elizabeth Bonny takes Hook as her lover. All in all Elizabeth Bonny is a strange creation, who has nothing to do in Neverland except ruin the story, but then again, Neverland itself is no longer a make-believe land on Earth made up by Peter, but just some weird planet that Peter hasn't created. All in all the story has only very little to do with Peter Pan and instead it reminded me of not only "Oliver Twist" but also "The Snow Queen", "Star Wars" and "Harry Potter".

 I only have one thing left to say about the "Neverland" mini-series and that is: stay away from it!

 1 out of 5 stars: *

 © Lise Lyng Falkenberg, 2013